Charles_Gregory

We are here to celebrate and remember the life of Chuck Gregory. I would like to share a few of my memories of this very special friend. The first thing I learned about Chuck was that he always let you know exactly what he thought and where he stood on any subject. You may know exactly what I am talking about.

When Chuck said, “Now hang on just a minute,” you learned to get ready, because you never knew what was coming next. He didn’t like dancing around an issue or avoiding the big questions; he wanted to face them head on and get to the heart of the matter. Over the years I came to realize that much of what he said was based on years of thought and contemplation.

Another memory about Chuck was that he really cared about his friends and this community. I enjoyed listening to Chuck’s stories while we were sitting around the table at Cozell and Stella’s house. His friends and experiences in Mabank were in many of them. It was very clear that Chuck loved life and he appreciated the blessings that had been bestowed upon him. But he also knew what it was like to face tough times. You would find Chuck helping others when they were having problems too. He didn’t particularly want anyone else to know about it, but a lot of people were helped by Chuck’s acts of kindness and good works.

But Chuck loved his family the most of all. They were always in his stories. One of my fond memories is the time that Chuck’s mother came to our Bible study. Stories about Chuck made it clear that he had been a very mischievous child and teenager. The urge to revert to his old ways surfaced at that meeting. After saying a few things, that he probably shouldn’t have said, all it took was one look from Mrs. Gregory, followed by a single word – “Charles!” – to get him back in line. I could only guess how many times that scenario had been played out before.

Two tragic events that shaped Chuck’s spiritual life were the loss of his wife and daughter to cancer. It was very clear that he had spent a lot of time wrestling with the difficult questions and pain caused by their deaths. He asked God – Why? Chuck prayed and searched for an acceptable answer, but for a long time no answer was found. One day he went down to the church, and while looking through the library, just happened to find a book written by a rabbi. In it he found the answers that he had been looking for. The name of the book was "When Bad Things Happen to Good People," by Rabbi Harold Kushner.

Like Chuck, Rabbi Kushner had lost a child and asked why. His son was 14 years old when he died. He had been born with an incurable illness and his short life had been very difficult. I would like to share some of Rabbi Kushner’s words with you because they meant a great deal to Chuck and played an important role in his life.

“I asked myself, how did my wife and I get through that? . . . And the only answer is, when we used up all of our own strength and love and faith -- there really is a God -- and he replenishes your love and your strength and your faith.

There is all the difference in the world between saying, `I was able to get something good out of this,’ and saying, `God intended it to teach me this lesson.’ I don't believe God sends tragedies so that we will grow spiritually. I believe the tragedy happens for all sorts of reasons: natural reasons, biological reasons, genetic reasons, human cruelty reasons.

Once it happens, I think God's role is to give us the strength and the vision to come through it - and come through it with our faith intact. God is there to send us people -- to hug us -- to hold our hands – to dry our tears -- so we don't feel abandoned -- not by God -- and not by friends. And then -- in our response to the tragedy -- we have something good that comes out of it.

I want to believe in a loving God. When you see children dying, when you see innocent people suffering, and when you see young parents stricken with an illness, how can you believe in a God of love and compassion unless you are prepared to say, “Some things happen in the world that God does not want to happen.” God is good. Nature is not good. Nature is blind. Nature is amoral. Fire burns -- bullets wound -- falling rocks injure -- and germs infect everybody -- whether they deserve it or not.

But people who have been hurt by life get stuck in “the valley of the shadow of death.” They don’t know how to find their way out. And that’s the role of God. The role of God is not to explain and not to justify – it is to comfort, to find people when they are living in darkness, to take them by the hand, and show them how to find their way into the sunlight again.

Why do people let themselves get stuck? Sometimes, I think, they feel guilty that they’re still alive and somebody they love has died. Sometimes, I suspect, they’re afraid. They’re afraid if they ever permitted themselves to recover, then they would lose the person, not only physically, but emotionally as well. And as a rabbi, I would try to explain to them, `No, that’s not how it works. When you have loved somebody, they have entered so intimately into the fabric of your soul that neither death nor time can ever take them out. They are always with you.’”

Chuck found comfort, peace and answers he could accept in Rabbi Kushner’s words. Many of Chuck’s opinions echoed the rabbi’s thoughts. It was exactly a week ago today that I spoke to Chuck for the last time. It was clear that he knew his time was short. I asked if there was anything he needed or if we could do anything. He said that the only thing he wanted was to be made as comfortable as possible; and that the people at the hospital were doing a very good job of taking care of him. He also told me how much it meant to have Todd by his side during this time. The last thing he said was that he had been blessed with a long and good life -- but now he was ready to go.

Chuck touched many lives, and he will be greatly missed. But, to paraphrase the words of Rabbi Kushner, “Chuck has entered into the fabric of our souls and neither death nor time can ever take him out.” Chuck will always be with us as long as we live.

Funeral was held at Eubank Cedar Creek Funeral Home in Mabank, Texas at 2:00 pm.